Archive for June, 2009

Michael Jackson is dead.

Friday, June 26th, 2009

Michael’s life is now in the same state as his career and credibility.

posted by hedley

Source: Every newspaper and news outlet across the globe.

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Farrah Fawcett dead at 62

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

American news outlets rush to post sexy, scantily clad photos to honor her life.

Senate Backs Apology for Slavery

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Congress has also asked NASA to prepare a statement apologizing to the dinosaurs for not spotting the asteroid that caused them to become extinct.

The Vatican is asking God to apologize for the flood that killed everybody on earth except for Noah and the inhabitants of his ark. They also want clarification from the All Mighty if he killed all the fish or did they get a free pass during the flood.

posted by hedley

Source: The Washington Post

President George H.W. Bush went skydiving on his 85th birthday.

Friday, June 12th, 2009

The former president jumped in tandem with a member of the Army’s Golden Knight’s parachute team. In an unrelated story, his son caused the economy to dive by creating policies in tandem with CEO’s who used their golden parachutes.

posted by hedley

STD Lecture to Congressional Interns Put On Hold Due to Pizza Dispute

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Insiders are concerned that this problem won’t be resolved in time for the highly anticipated annual closed door lecture about drugs.

posted by hedley

Source: Fox News

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Friday, June 5th, 2009

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